Thursday, June 7, 2012

Movie Review - Battleship

The movie is supposedly based on the board (bored?) game of the same name but with more explosions but dumber dialog.

I thought the answer to the unasked question "What do we do if aliens attack the earth through the oceans?" had been definitively answered by the old TV show Voyage To The Bottom Of The Sea. But I guess alien invasion through the ocean makes sense since 70% of the surface of the earth is covered by water. The rest of course is covered by Gary Maddux.

As an aside, I always thought Tommy Lasorda make that comment about Maddux but then I looked it up and the source I found said it was Ralph Kiner.

Anyway, I'm sorry, what were we talking about? Oh, the movie Battleship.

The reviews I read said either the movie was stupid, or stupid and entertaining. Stupid it was. Virtually nothing made much sense.  Here's the plot: boy meets girl, boy breaks into a convenience store to get girl a chicken burrito and gets tazed into submission by the police at girl's feet, boy joins Navy, aliens land in the Pacific Ocean, boy saves world, boy gets girl.

The part of the plot after the aliens land and the boys saves the world are entertaining in the sense that things exploding, weird machines and aliens are all about and general movie mayhem is entertaining.

The movie would have you believe that an alien race has the technology to send ships at warp speed to Earth in response to a signal we sent and the best they can do on earth is have these giant menacing things with awesome weapons, that can only hop around in the water.

OK that's enough. I could go on for pages about stuff in this movie that didn't make sense. If you saw the trailers and thought it looked like fun (which my daughter and I did) then you're probably enjoy the movie (we did).

On the way home my daughter asked, what message could we have possibly sent that made the aliens so mad, "Earth rules and whatever your planet is called drools?"

1 comment:

Commishbob said...

The trailers made it look very tempting. But the almost universal lousy reviews helped me decide to save my money for another day. I guess that was right.