Friday, June 3, 2016

Movie Review - X-Men: Apocalypse

This movie is about Egyptians; crumbling pyramids; people running in panic; a guy who shoots red destruction-beams from his eyes; a guy, with a long pointed tail, who can disappear in a puff of smoke; a woman who is sometimes normal looking, sometimes naked and blue with scales and sometimes blue with scales but wearing a flight suit; another woman who can shoot lightening bolts from her fingers; an ancient guy (who is apparently Apocalypse) who can do anything he wants but wants more power and also wants to destroy the world so that whoever survives can worship him; another guy who hangs in the air while spectacular special effects whirl around him; and how Professor Xavier loses his hair. Whew.

This is the third movie in the second series of X-Men movies. As one of the characters (Jean Gray played by Sansa Stark from "Game of Thrones") says, "The third movie of a franchise is always the worst".

Oh, and Wolverine makes a brief appearance, having apparently been captured by the US military. After being rescued by Jean Gray, Cyclops (who, by the way, actually has two eyes) and Night Crawler (the guy with the pointed tail) runs off into the woods without saying a word. I guess this was to remind you of the character since Fox is planning a new Wolverine movie.

Would it be a spoiler if I told you that Apocalypse is defeated?  The last time he was beaten it was by Egyptians with spears. This time he's up against The Beast, Cyclops, Dr. Xavier, Jean Gray (why doesn't she have a snappy superhero name?), Night Crawler,  Quicksilver, and other oddly named and powerful young adults. And good always trumps evil.

The movie is also about the seemingly endless conflict between Dr. Xavier and Magneto. I don't know if I can stand hearing the doc comment another time on his knowing that Magneto has some good in him. If it wasn't clear in the other 5 movies, it's apparent now that Magneto has no good in him. Just moments when he thinks to himself, "OK, I guess this is a bit much, even for me". In this movie, Magneto is directly responsible for vast destruction around the world and the probable death of millions of people. Is there any coming back from that? Apparently because cock-eyed optimist Dr. Xavier once again says "I knew that there was some good in you".

We've seen just about every other Marvel movie so we figured we had to see this one as well. There was some good points (some humor and Olivia Munn's costume) and of, course, the special effects were spectacular (but that's expected nowadays), but I would rank this pretty far down in the list of my favorite Marvel movies.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good job, you took the time to write a review about the same movie that thousands of other people have already written a review about.

Without adding anything new, or insightful, or for any purpose whatsoever.