Friday, April 12, 2013

Movie Review: GI Joe Retaliation

I've been busy recently, too busy to get many blog posts done. But not too busy to get tho the movies once in awhile.

We saw a lot of trailers for this last summer and then the movie got pulled, we heard, to revamp it for 3D. When trailers started showing up earlier this year, it looked like an entirely different movie.  We hadn't really liked the first GI Joe movie but we decided to give this a chance.  I should have stayed home and watched the Phillies beat the Mets.

Here's the premise, which was obvious from last year's trailers but not so obvious from this year's. Cobra gets control of the US president (it doesn't matter how except it involves nanotechnology and CGI) and orders an attack on the GI Joe encampment in, probably, Afghanistan. It's never explained why all the Joes were gathered in one place. Some of the Joes (led by Dwayne Johnson) had just come back from a successful mission retrieving nuclear war heads (which I always thought we bigger than artillery shells but apparently not). Out of the blue, black helicopters appear and destroy all the Joes, except, of course for The Rock and his team. At the end of this scene, the judicious, and wholly obvious, use of a hand grenade would have ended the story. But it doesn't.

Within days, our heroes are set up in an abandoned gym in Washington with a ton of weapons, high tech computer gadgets and a plan to take back the government. Here is where the movie started to leave me behind. I mean, I like a movie with lots of bullets flying, explosions, ninjas battling on the side of a mountain, high speed boat chases and the like, as much as the next guy, but really, that's all this movie is. Oh, and Bruce Willis is in it, playing, well, he's playing Bruce Willis.

If you liked the first GI Joe movie (and if you did, what's wrong with you?), you'll love this movie. But, if like us, you didn't really like the first one, you'll just be disappointed in this one.

One telling thing might be that almost no one who was in the first movie is back for the sequel. Jonathan Pryce is back as the President and Channing Tatum is back as Duke but he gets killed pretty early. Ray Park is back as Snake Eyes but since he wears a mask the whole movie and doesn't speak, who could tell. Buyng-hun Lee is also back as Storm Shadow but that's about it.


Brad's Blog said...

Killing Duke was a mistake, they should've had him and Roadblock lead the Joes. I'm a huge GI Joe fan and that was a terrible way to shape the plot.

Stan Denski said...

Being disappointed in a GI Joe movie is like being disappointed in a quarter pounder with cheese. Did it have cheese? You have no right to be disappointed, you asked for it. :)